The Unicorn Scenario

The Unicorn Scenario

In June 2011, Leicester City Council were forced to admit that they did not have any plans in place for the continuation of Council functions following a Zombie Apocalypse. This was as a result of a Freedom Of Information request sent to the council by a concerned citizen. Presumably, there would have been questions asked before the statement was issued, people consulted, the Press Office would have to prepare and get approval for the copy to go to print or other media. The whole frivolous thing could have cost the Council thousands of pounds, just to satisfy a request which they were legally obliged to respond to, regardless of the probability of such an event occurring.

You can read about it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798

Whilst this is, on the face of it, ridiculous, the fact that it happened speaks to a new and worrying trend in the business world – Risk Analysis and Mitigation. Don\’t misunderstand me, I don\’t want to suggest that your development / project / live service should NOT be subject to Risk Analysis, it\’s just that there should be some sanity in that process.

I was working on a project recently that was subject to an over-zealous risk analysis. You know, where someone thinks up the craziest and most unlikely thing that could happen, and then asks you how you\’re going to mitigate that risk to their project.

Example 1:

\”There is a risk that key resources would not be technically skilled enough to carry out the implementation\”.

What ?? You\’re being asked if you know what you\’re doing, and someone thinks that you may not be skilled enough to do your job ? That\’s not a risk – that\’s an insult.

Example 2:

\”There is a risk that, once implemented, the new service may cease to function in the expected manner, causing loss of reputation and significant cost\”.

Again, that\’s not a risk in my view – that\’s scaremongering.

(I should probably point out that I\’ve not actually been asked to mitigate the above risks. But I\’ve seen something very similar…)

Risk Anaysis IS important. It can help you with your planning and implementation, drive out inconsistancies, and ensure that all stakeholders understand what it is that they are actually about to undertake. Where it gets silly is when those risks and their mitigations become more important to the business than actually doing the work in the first place.

This is what I call the \’Unicorn Scenario\’, and it goes like this:

Risk:
There is a risk that herds of Unicorns will prevent access to the building at key points during migration or installation.

Mitigation:
Bowls of sugar lumps are to be placed at strategic points in the overflow car-park, thus diverting the Unicorns from preventing access.

Stupid ?? Perhaps. But guess what\’s next on the lisk of risks ? Here it is:

Risk:
There is a risk that the overflow car-park may not have enough capacity to contain all the Unicorns described in the previous risk.

Mitigation:
After consultation with the landlords, additional space in the allotments adjacent to the overflow car-park is available on demand.

So you see, a seemingly ridiculous risk has turned into something that costs both time and money. And then there\’s always Risk 3:

Risk:
There is a risk that budget will not be available for the purchase of bowls to hold the sugar lumps. The ownership of the sugar lumps post-Unicorn distraction has also yet to be defined and accepted.

Mitigation:
Head–>Desk, Head–>Desk, Head–>Desk !

Sometimes, we need to take a step back and ask \”Is this REALLY a risk\”. If we don\’t, we\’ll end up being terrified of Dragons, but we\’ll have project approval to play hopscotch on the M25.

Back soon…